Hell Is 'Round The Corner
by omniaki78
Summary: This is my first crossover involving six teens going through a shitty shopping day. Rated M again for language and Gloria and I being whores. NOT A LEMON! Special Infected shall appear- later. R&R.
1. This Sucks Ass

**Do not judge. This is my first crossover involving six teens going through a shitty shopping day. Rated M again for language and Gloria and I being whores. (NO NOT A LEMON YOU GROSS-O) It is a crossover of sorts with Dead Rising and Left 4 Dead. Special Infected shall appear, and one is my lover!! Read on, or else you suck shitballs. No flames. Read and review. Ummy, I don't own anything. If I did, Hunters would really exist and assault me constantly. I don't own Dead Rising. And lastly, I own myself, and according to MySpace, I own also Gloria and Jill. And I own the guys. Mmm tasty! :D**

Hell Is 'Round The Corner

"Let's hit Abercrombie next!" Gloria yelled in my ear. We towed several bags up the stairs.

"I'm hungry, after can we get Panda at the food court?" I pulled a top of its hanger. Gloria was nowhere to be found. I checked the dressing room. Knocking, I asked, "You in there, Asian?"

"Yeah. And yes, we can go to panda."

"You actually listened!" I gasped.

"Haha. I'm done here. Nothing's tight enough. As usual." I rolled my eyes at her dilemma. We went about five minutes away to the food court. I ordered my constant. Gloria just got a soda.

"How come _I_ always have to pay?" I queried.

"Because you just do?"

"Ugh. Whatever." Screams echoed from the main plaza of the mall. Gloria and I looked down the railing to see slow-moving figures banging on the mall's entrance. "Something tells me those aren't shoppers." Gloria smiled. "People need to barricade the entrances! Come on!" I left our bags and dragged her to the glass doors. "These won't hold long."

"OMG." Gloria and I pushed benches to block the zombies from coming in. I carried some trash cans to reinforce the structure.

"And that takes care of _that_."

"Um, Autumn? There's still thingies out there." Gloria pointed her index finger.

"Don't ruin the moment!"

"But-"

"Don't ruin it!" I snapped. "Now we're gonna need somethin' to defend ourselves with."

"I think your eye just twitched."

"Screw you! ME WANT CHAINSAW!!"

"Can we find one of those guns that shoot a lot? I like those..." She trailed off, probably imagining how 'sexy' she'd look using it.

"You can stop drooling." I giggled. Gloria shot me the bird. I stuck my tongue out at her. We went to a hunting store. "Shotty! My BFF!" I hugged the shotgun. "Here." I tossed an Uzi to Gloria. "Don't look in the barrel; you'll shoot your face off." She lowered the gun.

"Look Autumn! A knife! Yay!" She held up a machete. I grabbed a chainsaw.

"Look Asian, a chainsaw! YAY!" I cackled maniacally. I placed the chainsaw in a leather strap across my back. I did the same for a couple liquor bottles and secured Gloria's pistols in a dual hoister around her waist. She held her Uzi. "Let's roll." I cocked my shotgun. We quickly realized that we blocked only one of the entrances. The Infected slowly were moving through the lower level of the mall. "Damn." I grabbed two bags from a novelty store, handing one to Gloria. "Onward, to the food court!"

We skipped to our destination. Between us, we ransacked counters and cabinets for light, non-perishable goods. Unless zombies could use escalators, we were safe. "Can I chuck Molotov down there?" Gloria peered over the railing.

"Go ahead." The cloth rippled as it fell. It exploded the yellow-orange flame. Flaming Infected toppled over one another. We then noticed a figure below swinging a golf club at the Horde. "Gloria! Someone's down there! We must help them!"

"For cereal?"

"Of course!"

"Godammit." She whined. We ran down the escalator and shot at the surrounding Infected. My shotgun thrust me backwards, right in front of a zombie. "Autumn!" Gloria blew its head off. I was covered in blood, but for some strange reason, I giggled. I hacked through the rest of the Horde with my chainsaw. Gloria stabbed an Infected in the eyes. The person we saw was still alive. We ran up to her and got her back on her feet.

"Thanks." She inhaled. "I'm Jill."

"Autumn. Gloria." I pointed at my friend and I.

"Shouldn't we get moving?" Gloria nervously glanced at the incoming zombies.

"Yeah. Let's shower and grab some clothes. I'll run and get us a couple more bags." I took off. To my surprise, Jill ran past me up the stairs. She laughed.

"I'm not going back there."

"Amen." Gloria smiled, having caught up with us. I looked over Jill, noticing a deep gash down her exposed calf.

"Not a good day to wear shorts, huh? C'mon, let's get you a FAK."

"It stings like hell, I shouldn't have run."

"Nobody's perfect. Ah, this is perfect." Gloria mused over a backpack-like medical care kit. "Put it on Jill."

"M'kay. This shit's not in the air right?" Jill covered her mouth with a bruised hand.

"Would we still be alive if it were?" I smirked. "Anyone up for an apocalypse shopping spree?" Gloria nodded furiously and grinned. "But don't go over the top."

"We could rob the whole mall and you want to limit us?!" Gloria shrieked.

"You wanna carry the shit around? I'll be damned if you die dragging around your weight in _boots_!" I dabbed at Jill's cut using antiseptic.

"Autumn has a point." She winced at the alcohol's sting.

"Oh fuck you guys!" Gloria muttered.

"Whatever. Dibs on the first shower. We have to get our clothes first though." The other girls agreed. A familiar voice sounded through the hall. Josh, an acquaintance of mine from school, was in the Apple store. "C'mon let's help!"

"Ugh. I hate that whiny bitch." Even though she was reluctant she came along anyway. Jill, oblivious to who Josh even was, also followed close behind. He was fending off the Infected with two computer mice, swinging them wildly as if they were nunchuks.

"Die evil spawn!!!" He yelled. The Infected were absorbing the blows and stood there unfazed. "Autumn?! Ah, damn you Demon! You cursed us all to Hell!" _I forgot. He still thinks I'm the devil..._

"Shit, screw this." I shot him and walked away. Jill looked at me strangely, but shrugged it off.

We found ourselves at Pac Sun. I pulled a zebra bikini down. Gloria got Solana black jeans and a tight gray shirt. She snatched a black halter bikini from the rack. I also grabbed a similar pair of jeans to Gloria's. Jill awaited Hot Topic. After I found a desirable top, plus a heavy coat to brave the cold outside, and Gloria finally chose a black and gray jacket, Jill got her wish. She ran into the store eventually deciding on a black tank top that buttoned down the front, a black jacket, loose black skinny jeans, and a new pair of black high-tops. She seized a Hurley bikini and board shorts. We filled our packs to the brim.

"Aren't we forgetting something?" Gloria stamped her boot. Jill and I looked at her, confused. "UNDIES!" She exclaimed. We exchanged glances, leaving Jill even more confused. In unison, we shouted, "Victoria Secret!"

We linked arms with Jill and dragged her to the lingerie store. When we got in, Gloria held up a lacy thong with a bow. "What, ya tryin' to impress the zombies?" I queried. Jill turned a bright shade of red, and turned away from us. "You know they have normal undies here too, right?" I reassured.

"Yeah, they also got granny panties." Gloria retorted, ending up in a fit of giggles. I rolled my eyes, trying not to join her. Jill retreated to the other side of the store, where more 'modest' undergarments were on display. Gloria and I each stuffed five thongs into our bags, along with matching bras and a teddy or two. "Ahaha, we're whores."

"Okay, stupid Asian. It's time for me to shower." We all waltzed to the employee locker room. "Guard the door. I don't need any zombies getting nosebleeds." Gloria burst into laughter and Jill just took the safety off her rifle. "See you in a bit!" I shut the door behind me and let out a deep sigh. I laid my bag down on the bench and removed my jacket. "What should I wear?" Trifling through the clothes, I decided to worry about that after. My cell phone started to ring. "Hello?"

"Autumn! Hey, there was a shitload of zombies back there! We had to leave- look, I'm sorry- I love you, okay? I'm so-" A clicking noise apparently signified the line went dead. _I'm fucked_. I pushed a bench in front of the door. _Jesus Christ, save me!_ Dull thuds sounded from the other side. I inhaled sharply and awaited my end. The door burst open and a figure tumbled in. Time seemed to stand still for that one simple moment.

"Are you alright?" The boy asked. He looked no older than I was. Brown hair fell gracefully across his forehead and blanketed his oceanic eyes. I managed to nod, but I must not have been convincing for he scooped me up casually, took my bag and left the room through the Horde.

"What. The. Fuck." I sputtered. "How'd you go through that and not even get wounded?" My fists balled up and struck him in the chest.

"I'll explain that when we find your friends." I wondered if they would be safe. "Hey, don't worry. I sent my friend after them. They'll be fine." His cocky smile reassured me.

**Hooray! Review or the Hunter will glomp you in the bad way. Hello! Ummy, I think that's it. Yeppers. Hahahaha! Yeah... Reviews brighten my day! Make the Emo happy! Oh and check out my profile. I'm such a cute, loveable Hunter. BUT IMMA EET YO' FACE!!**


	2. Fresh Faces And Teletubbies

**NEW CHAPTER! It took me a while, sorry. I fail at life. Uh, the first few paragraphs are a collaboration of Gloria and I. We get to meet Mr. Tank and find out why the mysterious savior walked through a horde without being touched inappropriately. So... Yeah. Read on!**

On The Roof

(Gloria's POV)

I burst onto the asphalt and skinned my knee. Jill tumbled out and landed next to me. We both looked over the edge of the roof, after barricading the door of course, and saw a gargantuan amount of Infected. A crunch from behind alerted us and we were prompted to withdraw our weapons. My wrists were seized around my back by firm hands. A low voice whispered in my ear. "You know what this position's good for?" I smirked.

"Yeah. This." I rammed my foot in between the guy's legs- hard. A grunt escaped his lips. "C'mon, you know you love it." I whipped around to face him, (wanting to kill him out of fury) but instead came face to face with a very attractive man. "You- You're hot!" I blurted out without thinking. I kneeled beside the stranger and asked, "Are you... Okay?"

"Sure, other than the fact I won't have any children." He ground out the sentence, glaring up at me. He managed to raise himself to a low crouch.

"I'm sorry; I thought you were one of the Infected." I looked away.

"I apologize then, cuz they don't come this nice honey." He stood up and winced, obviously forgetting about his crippled third leg. "We were never properly introduced, were we? I'm Drake."

"Gloria." I stuck out a hand and he lightly grasped it. Jill cleared her throat. "Oh, shit! Sorry!! This is Jill." I realized I had completely forgotten about her. "And Jill, this is Drake."

"Nice to meet you." A ring emitted from his pocket. "Hold on. Yo, Ryan. Yeah, I got to them. We're on the roof. Thank God. Okay, see you here." Drake flipped the phone shut and placed it back into his dark jeans. Two figures with hands entwined joined us on the roof.

"Autumn! Oh, I'm sorry... I was so afraid you would..." She took hold of my shoulders and pulled me close. "Sorry..." I muttered into her hair, trying to fight tears.

"It's fine. I'm alright, and so are you." She let me go and walked towards Drake. His hands clasped hers. "I'm eternally grateful that you watched over my girls." Autumn strolled back to Ryan and leaned against him. She sighed deeply. "So... What do we do now?" She peered over the roof's edge as Jill and I did before. "Fuck."

"I say we hot-wire a car and get the hell outta here. To the army base in Redwood." Drake proposed. I was busy trying to analyze what his shoe size was. He looked into my eyes puzzled.

"You've never seen an Asian before or what?" I snapped. Autumn and I immediately began giggling.

"Well, Drake, the only hole in your plan is in all the horror movies the teens go into a forest and get slaughtered. If we went, no one can separate. I guess I'll allow this. Plus, you guys are lucky I can hot-wire cars." Autumn proclaimed. "But sorry old friend, I am forced to leave you behind." She got teary-eyed and revved her chainsaw before tossing it down into the large horde. "Psshhh... Hahahaha!! Imma get a machete!!" I rolled my eyes and sighed in relief.

"Wait... Have any of us been bitten? It seems to be spread through scratches as well. Jill hasn't turned, neither have Autumn and I... You two?" Ryan shuffled his feet and rubbed his neck. He pulled Autumn closer to him, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I... I'm infected with the virus. But much differently. The Common Infected don't bother me anymore, but I kinda have these." He held up his right hand and the nails grew into long, sharp claws. "And, I still have some other skills like climbing stuff and leaping great distances... Like Spiderman. Sorta. That's what I wanted to explain to you, Autumn." Ryan unsheathed the claws and extended his hand toward her. She hesitated a moment before grasping it, which prompted him to bring it up to his lips.

"Basically, we stick close enough and the Commies don't bother us." Jill summarized all of our thoughts. "I believe we've reached a consensus?"

"That's fine with me. Gloria?" Drake grinned at me. I nodded. "Then let's do this." We went back inside, huddling around Ryan, restocking ammo and getting Autumn's new toy. Her eyes lit up as if you offered her a simply dipped drumstick. Ryan carried her around to make 'space' for our safety. I glared at Drake envying the newly formed couple's closeness. Autumn happily enjoyed her ice cream. _Wait-_

"Where the fuck did that come from?!" I screamed causing some Commies to shuffle toward us. "Oops... They won't bother us though... Anyway tell me where you got the drumstick!!"

"Oh, you don't want to know." She smirked and snuggled into a comfortable position in her man's arms. "Yum." I was confused but as always, Autumn finished the frozen treat in two seconds flat. Then she began singing some random song she wrote. When she stopped we clapped. "It's new. It's called 'Angel.'" I stared at her and then she whispered, "I haff moneys."

"Heehee pffttt- Shitballs. Look!" Some sort of monolith was lumbering closer and closer.

"Dammit! Drake! The Tank! It followed us here! Fuck, uh... Okay, everyone aim for the head!" Ryan yelled above his own gunfire. I heard Autumn mutter a line from one of our favorite fan-fics.

"No Shitlock, Holmes." I was trying to not laugh since the pink Hulk was getting a little too near. As it reached us, a well-placed rifle bullet whizzed past us and struck it in its skull. "Go Jill! Whoa, has anyone told you that you look like a lion?" Autumn queried.

"Uh, no." Jill appeared very puzzled.

"Hey, you're right! She does!" I exclaimed. Jill's face quickly succumbed to a red hue. Autumn shrugged and smiled politely, but a sole canine tooth remained sticking out of her mouth. "And you're now a vampire Autumn! Please sparkle for me." I begged, hoping she would get the reference.

"Oh yes. You know, your scent is like a drug to me. That's why in Indio during Spring Break when I was thirteen and you were fourteen, in eighth grade, I couldn't help but breathe on you while you tried to sleep!" She added those details to boost my memory but I had no idea what she was talking about. "Ugh. You forgot."

"Yep. So let's steal a..." I scanned the parking lot and found a shiny black car. "A Porsche!"

"Gloria, first of all, you can't even spell 'Porsche,' and second of all, it may go fast and look pretty, but we're taking a Hummer." Autumn crossed her arms over her chest.

"What? Why?" Drake and I whined in unison.

"Sturdier." She hopped in the front seat and began pulling out wires.

"Autumn! I remember the breathing thing! When you tried to, we both moved our heads and the side of my head hit your forehead and it hurt really, really bad." I rambled. The roar of the Hummer's engine... Roared. All of us hopped in with Drake driving and me in the passenger's seat. Autumn fell asleep on Ryan's shoulder while Jill sat alone on the other side of the back seat. "Drake, watch out!" A figure was standing in the middle of the road frantically waving at us. "Pull over."

"Oh God, thank you. Why hello there." The boy was our age and hopped in the car next to Jill.

"Jace?" Ryan shifted slightly so he wouldn't disturb Autumn. "Hey man. I was wondering what took you so long to get to the mall today and it just so happens we drive away as you get close! I love predictable plots." Jace laughed and smiled.

"You get to use your zombie plan, huh? I'm glad I collect guns. Well, get this, my car broke down so I approached the metro, and was assaulted. I ran back, grabbed all my stuff, and have been walking here. Ryan? Why aren't the zombies swarming us right now?" Ryan tensed.

"I'm infected with an evolved strain in which I still retain my humanity but get to do cool shit. The Commies ignore us."

"Commies? Ahaha that's clever. Who was the genius?" He glanced around.

"Your new partner, Jill. I'm Autumn, Ryan's partner." Autumn spoke up.

"I thought you were asleep!" I shouted. "Oh, hi Jace. I'm Gloria."

"Hey. Drake, you're quiet." Jace stated.

"Just enjoying listening to the conversation."

"That's not weird at all." I retorted.

"I had a nightmare about the Teletubbies and their Tubby Pudding." Autumn shuddered. Ryan snaked an arm around her and pecked her forehead. She giggled.

"Drake, why don't we do the cute coupley things?" I asked.

"Maybe because we're in the middle of an apocalypse and I'm driving a car and need to focus before we crash and die, _Sweetie_."

"Oh, okay. Jill and Jace seem to be hitting it off quite well." I saw Jill scoot closer to her partner.

"Ryan, I feel like I'm in a happy dream of Resident Evil Land. In pairs of two, shooting shit, having romantic involvement with a co-worker..." Autumn was delirious.

"Alright. Go to sleep now and I'll sleep too. We'll dream about, uh..." He anxiously looked to me to know something to say. 'Romantic shit.' I mouthed. "We'll dream about each other."

"How cheesy." She yawned and dozed off, quickly followed by her partner.

**Gloria is so silly. But she's super, thanks for asking!! And if you leave a review, you get a Jill sandwich!!**

**Barry: Where?! I want one!**

**Me: I was speaking hypothetically.**

**Barry: Aw, damn.**

**Me: That was random...**

**Jill: What are you doing offering me as sustenance?!**

**Me: Uh, you're Jill-icious?**

**Jill: Ohh, okay. I get it. Because Eddie-**

**Gloria And I: Yeah we know already!**

**Me: I get last line!!**


End file.
